School and first job
If you reflect on
my history, as I have shared it here, you may be able to see why I had little trust
in adults, which was confirmed by my dear head teacher at secondary school, who
said, in front of the whole school on my last day (I don’t want to write this;
it still makes me ashamed), “King, you are a waste of space!” And he added,
rather vindictively in a deep baritone Welsh accent (nothing against him being
Welsh), “You will make nothing of yourself.” That humiliation in front of the
whole school made me so angry. I thought very slowly, I will show you, mate! I had come into school labeled as a “dunce”;
now I was leaving labeled as a “waste of space.” (“Perhaps, Roger, that challenge inspired you towards the wonderful being
you became.”—Chelle) Thank you, my dear friend Chelle!
I could not get out
of school quick enough. I left with one O level in technical drawing and a
whole lot of raw emotional hatred stored inside me. This reminds me of another
little story:
The
Mouse and the Bull
A mouse bit a bull on the nose, and the bull, enraged by such
impudence, chased after it. The tiny mouse disappeared into a hole in a wall,
so the bull charged against the wall bashing it again and again with his horns
until he was quite worn out. He sank to the ground for a rest, whereupon the
cheeky mouse came out and bit him again! The bull got to his feet, determined
to catch his tormentor this time, but the mouse disappeared once more into the
hole, leaving the bull with nothing to do but snort and bellow in hopeless
anger. Soon he heard a little voice from inside the wall: “You big brutes don’t
always get your own way; sometimes we little ones get the better of you.”
This shadows the
story of David and Goliath, and the story Cinderella, as well as other fairy
stories that tell of those who are small of stature overcoming the giants. So
often I listen to true stories of abuse, and yet what is so amazing is that the
pain can be alchemized into wise healing with real love and forgiveness.
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