WARRIOR LOVE is one man’s journey
moving from monogamy to polyamory. (Having more than one intimate
relationship.)
In our fast-changing world where we
live longer and are in personal growth Roger asks:
Is monogamy the best type of
relationship for controlling our fears of being abandoned, rejected and coping
with gut wrenching jealousy?
Can love survive that is based on
wanting to control our primary partner with fear that if we have intimacy with
another person then we must leave our primary partner or be rejected?
Does monogamy lead to being taken for
granted and monotony? Will Polyamory, having openly and honestly more than one
intimate partner, (that may or may not involve sex,) lead to crossing
boundaries and inevitable jealousy with our primary partner?
Warrior Love is a book at the right
time to look carefully at our attitudes to intimacy and sexuality in the 21st
century.
Does unconditional love thrive in a
one-to-one relationship? Or do we just have secret affairs? Or would we like
to, but fear stops us?
Roger’s personal journey in Warrior
Love reveals a man in a monogamous marriage becoming gradually open and partly honest
about being able to have relationships with more than one woman that involves
consensual sex. However, he kept a number of sexual relationships a secret that led to
his primary partner leaving after 27 years of marriage.
Out of this painful experience, Roger
challenges us all with a waking vision to see humans becoming more honest about
our ability to love more than one person or relate to different people that
meet different needs, over time, emotionally, sexually and spiritually. He
wants us to envision society being truly enlightened by choosing responsible
open relationships that are equal between genders. Where no lies have to be held in the heart that eat away at love.
The book challenges us all with the
need for honesty about why we are possibly hiding in relationships and marriages
of monogamy, when actually, if we were more honest, we have the authentic
capacity to be in different levels of intimacy with different partners at the
same time. Could open responsible relationships empower us to find true
pleasure and happiness? Relationships where we will not be conditioned by
religion that tell us; “we will go to
hell.” Sometimes we stay in monogamy that is hell!
Roger asks us to wake up to being wildly and
wisely free with truth and courage. His book has beautiful stories that unfold
his personal teachings and insights.
His story reveals that his secret relationships came back to haunt him
with guilt and shame. Yet as he
retreats to Crete and writes warrior love, he becomes more honest and free in
his love of self and others, he finds shame resilience, which attracts stronger
self-esteem and self-compassion.
Roger suggests we may need, at times,
to be celibate or monogamous and at other times have more than one relationship.
Polyamory is not an easy option; it requires good communication skills and a
courageous integrity – although our hypocritical society often teaches us the
opposite; of holding secrets that control us through fear.
The book asks: Do we need one person
to attach to in a partnership? (Like a child to a mother!) Or does this become
monotonous? Does polyamory always mean handling jealousy? Or could we learn to
love our primary partner even more when returning happy after being with
another loving person and giving us even more love? Could human consciousness
learn Compersion?
Compersion is an empathic state of happiness and joy experienced when
another individual experiences happiness and joy. It’s a new concept that at least helps us handle jealousy and the fear
of not being good enough!
The book asks if some people are more
naturally free of emotions like jealousy... or do they handle jealousy well and
choose not to control their primary partner with threats of leaving or becoming
a victim?
The book comes at the right time to
help men especially, to be more open and honest, so our grandchildren and their
children will grow in families and communities where it is safe to love and be loved and
where we are all loveable.
Our world needs more freedom to love
and be true to our need for intimacy more than ever. Could we put more genuine
love into a world that is crying out for open honest love?
My love and support Roger King.
27th Jan 2014
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