As I listen to my alerted self-talk after a difficult slumber, my mind is suddenly aware of my new surroundings. I smell the healing vapours of smoke from a fire lit by my landlady last night, who soaks herself and me in the rain that percolates my soul.
The universe is bringing me my healing with fire and rain, however I sense a long path ahead for this ageing warrior of love with meandering self-reflection. The tick of a gentle bedside clock does not 'mind calm' this subconscious mind that waits to tell me what to type.
As I chant quietly to the invasive dark thoughts about this worlds human barbarity, my body aches with a thirst for comfort of just one soul to reach out and wipe my heart clean of its torment.
My new openness to process of healing brings a tiger that is burning itself to death and spiritual life. My soul wants to say "I only wanted to radiate love and bring healing." Yet I have brought hurt and pain to such wounded fellow souls and such disgust, that at times has cut me dead. The judges of wounded humanity seem so large in this world. The summit of 'cover ups' is mine to own and take the consequences. "The Gate Keepers" of my heart are admitting my barbarity, my masks of wounded warrior ship are there to see.
As a man in his cave I have helped attract such an invasion of war, slavery, debt, and reducing faith in something truly good. The war between men and women seems so deep. Such little trust and real long lasting love. I look at playful boys and girls and cry "LOVE YOURSELF!" Don't wait till you are 66. Learn to be the miracle of love you truly are. Let your homecoming be true now. Don't wait to become imprisoned in slavery to alcohol, drugs or Viagra. Let your heart sing with a power within that gave you birth. Don't wait for prostate cancer, or a heart that attacks you. Don't sit watching telly eating rubbish that keeps you frozen in hell. Get into love, kindness, creativity forgiveness and serve yourself intimately. Become a genuine lover of life. Turn the sail of your mind, body and soul to the wind of authenticity. Dance wild and open the sea of your dreams to the true path of love and vigorous love making.
As I bully myself to open my heart, I feel like a disgraced Samurai creating hari-kari, with the sharp knife penetrating my truth. No coffee or lazy meal any more in side cafes to stave off my guilt. I am here now open to the gaze of souls who have such a skin that is contagiously diseased. I want to wake up as a mother does to the cry of her baby and know I can comfort this wonderful miracle of life. I want to feel proud to be human and not condemned for loving more than one woman. I want openness and communication and appreciation, I want the earth to be heaven not an increasing hell. Do you want to burn off the dross and be a Tiger burning bright? My love Roger
No comments :
Post a Comment