Do it now! Let go! Dissolve the emotional
charge with love and forgiveness! Be willing to practice and practice, telling the truth to yourself in
the mirror then to the people who truly matter.
Our parents are
always doing their best with the awareness they have. Returning to the story of
my parents. In the 1950s and ’60s, divorce was an expensive option for my
father and mother. They had very little money, and both must have realized they
were trapped and certainly had been duped into thinking that marriage was what
they truly had wanted. My father moved us, when I was born, to an isolated,
run-down country house with a low, beamed ceiling. There was nobody around to
hear the screams. He said: “I love the countryside.” Yet he really wanted a
kind of freedom. He put us, “out of sight and out of mind!”
Consequently, my
parents argued most often at night, and we could hear this rage through
paper-thin walls. During the day, my father would be at work, or as my mother
would say sarcastically, “off with his waitress.” Oh, how I hated my mother and
father being so sarcastic; their voices scorched my soul.
My father, a clever
man, ran a café, a job that he felt was so much beneath his abilities; but he
needed to pay the taxman from a war debt.
Insight: When a parent literally hates what he or she
does for a living, that rage can so easily spill over into every area of life,
especially loving relationships and parenting. Just hearing parents talk about
work they bitterly resent, I believe, makes a child cringe with fear and
physical ailments often follow... I do believe I always had hearing problems
because I never wanted to hear what became a daily dose of negativity from
parents and my sister’s sarcastic arguments.
Suggestion: To help me write this now, I love saying or
singing the affirmation below to great music and dancing with arms open. Then I
put my own arms around me. It’s like
saying to the universe: “I am ready!” Here is the card from Louise Hay’s Wisdom Cards that picked me: “I am willing to change and grow. When I am
ready to make positive changes in my life, I attract whatever I need to help
me.”
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