Monday, 22 September 2014

SELF COMPASSION Especially when you feel rejected & paranoid.

Self-Compassion assists the inner journey

The twenty-minute “TEDx” talk is so clear on the well-researched benefits of practicing a self-compassion, called “The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion by Dr Kristin Neff.

This short YouTube video is learning the difference between self-esteem and self-compassion.
Do you give yourself self-compassion? The three elements are: “Self-Kindness, Common Humanity, and Mindfulness.” I am always intrigued by how to do things, the why often I see comes later. So how does self-compassion help me build warrior love?
I want to relate to myself with self-kindness, especially going through this parting of two searching souls. Writing this book is being kind and warm to myself, it’s not just being critical of me! With self-compassion, I can integrate the thoughts and feelings that what is happening is very human. I do know in my heart that my sufferings are a common experience throughout humanity and so it’s not just happening to me alone! I don’t have to hide and just go into feeling a ‘bad’ person! I can go out and connect to others. Next, I want to learn “Mindfulness.” This is taking a balanced approach to my feelings; neither to exaggerate nor deny my negative emotions of self-criticism.

The critical belief of “I must not be lazy”

If I beat myself up continually, I just leave the planet early without learning unconditional love. I can get lost in my own pain. I want to consciously learn to be kind to me. When I criticize myself I am threatening and attacking myself. I become the threat and the threatened. The fight-flight response kicks in. My stress response shuts my immune system down and I can become ill and depressed. The old negative belief that I need to be self-critical comes from a protestant belief: work hard and harder—so I won’t be lazy. This can lead to exhaustion! So I affirm:
I wisely build self-compassion by meditating regularly which helps me learn and be open and receptive to learning the next step for personal growth.”
I choose love even when life is tough so self-compassion can give the deep genuine experience to feel safe. I begin to think what I truly need from the heart of my mind. I need to tap into warmth and soft vocalizations of genuine positive affirmations.  When I feel safe I choose to meditate and respond with wisdom and compassion for others who are close to me, yet knowing I need self-compassion. So I repeatedly choose to tap into nurturing myself. I do yoga and juice with good organic ingredients. I eat regularly and keep fit, watch a funny film. I put on my rich soul music (as you will see throughout this book) dance wild or soft and let grief flow. I send gentle blessings of love to all whom maybe critical of me at this time. I see and think clearly and let self-compassion facilitate positive change. I write my story with self-compassion. One beautiful way of attracting self-compassion is to choose carefully whom I share my pain with. Today the right person came to listen and just let me cry. 
Some of the ingredients for choosing love, especially when life is tough, and so learning Warrior Love, are the following:
·      To be willing to learn the lessons from what I have attracted.
·      To take full responsibility, yet building in shame resilience.
·      To admit my lies with little ego or excuses.
·      To look at my possible negative addictions.
·      To be willing to do the mental work moment-by-moment and meditate regularly.
·      To free any pent up fear energy with safe ways of expressing anger or old anger, resentment.
·      To read and listen regularly to positive audio information.
·      Cry laugh and open my heart to attracting the right people to assist me on a tough inner and outer journey.

·      Write and look at where in my past life the emotional patterns and beliefs emerged, so I can change and grow positively.

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