CHOOSING AUTHENTICITY! A DAY IN THE LIFE OF 'COMING OUT!'

Choosing authenticity is not easy. E Cummings wrote,

“To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make everybody but yourself, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.”

When I first wrote Warrior Love I thought I was crazy to admit “I am a naturally Polyamorous man.”

However, I had not been honest. I had hidden my ability to be deeply connected to various women (and men) not always sexually, but emotionally.

When we choose to be true to ourselves, the people around us will struggle to make sense of how and why we are changing. Partners and children do feel fearful and certainly unsure about the changes they are seeing.

Some will find inspiration in our new commitment; others may perceive that we are changing too much, too radical maybe, even abandoning them and holding up an uncomfortable mirror.

The risks of coming out!

Yesterday, I was cut dead by a person who was, I thought, a friend. I then went for a walk with a close friend, who gave me caring feedback about my work as a therapist. This revealed some of my blind spots about my challenging style! I thanked and hugged her for her deep insights.

Then, with my film crew friends, I was supported, yet given feedback I was not to be on a website as Warrior Love was too controversial for the group who run the website.

Then my grown children challenged me about the book and film on YouTube and how it had hurt them. I admire their honesty and willingness to meet me. They lovingly gave me feedback as they took their belongings from the house. Their strong love came through the feedback and I felt connected to their souls. I do love them and I am sorry for the hurt and I ask forgiveness.

Then the universe gave me a blessing that I will buy a caravan at Nostell Priory that needs repair for a price I could afford, once the house is sold.

This was followed by a dear client who visited and we had a deep session, that lifted me to realise I am able to be there for others even when life is tough.

Lastly, I felt such deep rejection and doubt of “coming out”, that I rejected love from a lover.

Sometimes, when we push the system, the system pushes back with a cruelty and shaming response. I meditated and realise the humble path is to find a new tribe where I feel welcomed.

I know I am strong, but if rigid, in my self criticism I will break into pieces.

Connect please:

So I now bend with an authentic heart, that will keep “coming out,” but not with a know-it-all attitude. I will listen to feedback and do my best not to hurt others' feelings.

I would love meaningful connection. 

My love Roger

PS I wonder what the universe has in store for me today?