What Do You Believe People Think About You?

"What do you believe people think about you?".

Self-image may consist of three types:

Self-image resulting from how the individual sees himself or herself.

Self-image resulting from how others see the individual.

Self-image resulting from how the individual perceives others see him or her.

These three types may or may not be an accurate representation of the person. All, some or none of them may be true.

When writing Warrior Love, I experienced these theoretical frameworks in reality. To come out and say; "I am possibly a natural Polyamorous man!" Was

a hard and not easy admission.

To change how I see myself at 65 years of age, was a monumental internal and external change. I risked loosing my partner, the respect of my children, my professional colleagues, friends and to feel an outcast. Rather like a leper being sent to an island.

How do others see me? 

I cannot comment on this until I ask for people to tell me. So in risking publishing Warrior Love, I am asking people for their feedback. I risk critical beliefs from fundamental religious quarters to a whole range of individual internalized values that each individual holds.

How do I see others perceive me? My first thoughts:

1. That I am trying to excuse my adulterous behaviour. That all I want is more sex.

2. That I am living in an illusion. To even think that humanity could ever change in how we cope with feelings of jealousy, possessiveness and a need to control your partner. To question exclusivity of marriage is vital "sin."

3. That people will always keep sexual preferences a secret. That to expect humanity to be honest about being open with all partners, which is what Polyamory is about, is expecting too much.

Finding a new tribe to belong to:

To let go of a tribe or family that you belonged too, is a very hard transition. To come out and say I am Polyamourous in basic nature ,is risking ridicule, gossip and the pressure of prejudice that gay men and women have endured for years. I am learning to empathise with many ethnic groups on how difficult it is to feel safe, where skin colour is obvious. 

I ask myself at times is it all worth it? Am I martyr? What fun do I get from this? The answer is I am attracting people who accept me as I am, whether they agree or not. They just love me as I am.

I may risk everything, my ex-partners rage and her pain, my children's disapproval, home, security of work. I hope that in time we will be friends and acceptance and a new kind of love will build.

I do believe that if humanity is going to make some leap in consciousness I want to champion peoples need for freedom of being who we truly are, and not ending up in the strictures of secret lives that live in a kind of silent hell!

i do see as we learn to love ourselves from a place of deep respect, our true needs and character will emerge and our energy and vibrational needs will change over time. The marriage vows I believe need to change as we change over time. Can we expect one person to meet all those needs. No! We need a new awareness, consciousness and transformed way of being true to ourselves and those we love.

I cannot tell you the reader how to live your life, all I want is an honest sharing between people about how we could allow heart love to expand our ability to love more than just one person. I call this warrior love.

Please give feedback.