COMPERSION! What does this mean?

What is Compersion? A vital step in Warrior Love.

When I first heard that word I immediately thought of a feeling word like compassion!

When in Greece, living in a community, a Professor from Mexico explained Compersion is the “opposite experience to jealousy.” 

The term was coined by the Kerista commune as part of their philosophy of multi-partner relationships.

Here are some definitions:

“Taking pleasure or joy in the action of your partner engaging in a similar romantic or sexual relationship with another person” – Urban Dictionary

“The feeling of taking joy in the joy that others you love share among themselves especially taking joy in the knowledge that your beloveds are expressing their love for one another.” – Polyamory Society.

“The positive feelings one gets when a lover is enjoying another relationship. Sometimes called the opposite or flip side of jealousy. This may coexist with ‘jealous’ feelings.” - Poly Or

Compersion is the “ability to turn jealousy’s negative feelings into acceptance of, and vicarious enjoyment for a lover’s joy.” – Serena Anderlini-D’Onofrio

Learning Compersion

To learn Compersion, I believe takes time and very good communication skills. Our conditioning is so much about ownership, competition, and fear of being replaced, rejection and fundamental religious feelings of going to ‘hell’!

Some people are, I believe, naturally full of compersion. For some it can be an erotic “turn on.”

I would like to hear your response to learning Compersion.

Speaking personally, I feel over time, I am learning to hold both feelings. If my lover comes and gives me more love after being with her lover, I am full of joy. Yet I can feel jealousy however not drowned by these old emotional drama feelings. 

I now feel a sense of freedom from a negative emotional pattern that I learnt so young from my mother’s anger at my father’s secret affairs that he always denied.  This drama was often played out in front of us children.

Truth about my open polyamorous nature is a vital ingredient for my ability to learn and experience Compersion.  I want any partner (primary or not) to be truthful. This I have leant the hard way!

What are your thoughts feelings and experiences around Compersion