A little story for Christmas!

The Smuggler

Every day, Mustafa took his straw-laden donkey across the border. But one day, he was stopped by a customs officer, who eyed him suspiciously.

“What have you got in that straw?” he asked. “Are you carrying any contraband goods across the border? If you are, you’ll have to pay a fee.”

“Look for yourself,” replied Mustafa. “I’m hiding nothing!” The customs officer poked about and found nothing.

This went on, day after day. Sometimes he would look in the donkey’s mouth, even under the tail! Nevertheless, the customs officer vowed he would never stop searching.

This went on for ten years, and the customs officer retired. However, the ex-officer thought one day he might have been smuggling gold dust in the donkey’s fur.

One day he was walking through the market and he saw a familiar face. It was Mustafa without his donkey. “Hey you! Come here! Aren’t you the man with the donkey laden with straw?”

“Yes I am,” replied Mustafa.

“And you were smuggling weren’t you? I am convinced you were. I searched you every day but I couldn’t find anything, because you were very crafty. But you can tell me now. Were you smuggling?”

“Yes I was!”

“I knew it! What were you smuggling?”

“Donkeys!” said Mustafa with a big smile.

LEARNING TO LOVE

At home in the UK, I begin the day by sending, a text—a positive affirmation each day—to a hundred people or more. It’s a lovely action that inspires me. Now being abroad, I give a positive affirmation to myself from Louise Hay’s pack of Wisdom Cards. The card says, “I can heal myself on all levels!” And on the reverse side it says: “Healing means to make whole and to accept all parts of myself, not just parts I like, but all of me.” How appropriate. And then I open her book, You Can Heal Your Life to a random page and read: “My life doesn’t work.” I am reminded how I used to wake up saying, “My body, finances, and relationships don’t work!”

Now I have manifested a beautiful villa with a magnificent view of a winding snake-like road between sun-scorched mountains and the sea. I can hear goats—their bells are ringing. And I can hear dogs barking. The most precious gift is time to think and write this book, away from all family and friends. It is my retreat to all my earthly senses and with the unseen inspiration calling me and guiding me. Let me dive in the deep end. As Dr. Deborah Anapol wrote, “Love is its own law.”

I accept love is a mystery and most people want love.

Here is what I have learned over years as I have grown to like and gradually love me and life, that I call warrior love.

·      I have confidence in my ability to communicate to a whole range of people. They often share their secrets and their willingness (and resistance) to love themselves.

·      I am learning to be giver as well as a receiver of love, with a high degree of compassion and self-compassion.

·      I do my best not to judge or gossip. The effect of gossip is so destructive; when I see myself do it, I do my best to stop.

·      I am a person learning to have pleasure, including sex, without shame.

·      I am allowing others to love me in deep platonic friendships. This was one of the most difficult changes, because I never thought or felt loveable.

·      I am learning to take back my power to earn good money doing work I love. I realize now how important this is toward building self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love.

·      I am learning to say positive affirmations in the mirror about my mind and body and soul, including my sexuality. I love playing audio principles of success daily, especially when I find myself reverting to old negative habits.

·      I am learning to follow my intuition by meditating.

·      I am willing to learn from teachers who cross my path.

·      I am learning to turn my negative beliefs into positive affirmations: An example:
“I am open and receptive to all good!”
“I am safe.”
“I release the need to be right.”
“I am at peace. I love and approve of myself.”

·      I am learning, gradually, to let people know who is behind the masked, hurt adult and releasing the “genius” child. I believe this genius is in all of us—when we choose to love ourselves by developing a nurturing inner parent! A parent that loves us, even when we make mistakes—especially while we learn. This makes warrior love a reality.

·      I am willing to let go with love, relationships that constantly criticize and try to control me through guilt. I ask myself: What in me attracted this experience? I take responsibility to do some work to change and heal me.

·      I am learning gradually to tell the truth by courageously owning my story.

·      I realize that, as I learn to love myself, I can forgive myself, especially when I take responsibility for my mistakes.

·      When I look into a real mirror or a metaphorical mirror that reflects what I have attracted to me in experiences, I can now learn patience and believe myself when I say, “I love you, Roger, even when you make mistakes.” I am learning to be patient—not an easy family pattern to change. So often I have wanted to jump a whole series of lessons, because my ego wanted everything now without doing the work.

·      Most importantly, I ask people I have hurt to forgive me, and I ask this with authenticity.

·      I am learning that, when I invite the source of love to help me, even the toughest experiences are transformed into healing.

·      I am learning to handle anger, jealousy, guilt, shame, and grief, and see each of these emotional states as an opportunity to learn.

·      I am learning the difference between man-made laws of love and natural laws of love.

·      I see more clearly that to have a real relationship with another, I need a shared life purpose and similar spiritual values.

·      I am learning what I need in a relationship. This is an emotional resonance of appreciation for self and each other based on being true to self and the other person. Then criticism is so rare, and each day can be full of love and happiness.

·      If the relationship is built just on sexual attraction, and an unwillingness to truly love one’s true self, then the relationship with self and anyone else is a co-creation of unhappiness.

·      I am willing to live on my own and be happy rather than accommodate fear, guilt, shame, and resentment from another.

Giving your love from the heart!

Learning to give and receive from the heart

I have often given away my services cheaply. I have asked people to pay me when they have made leaps in self-esteem or, with their new consciousness, so in turn help someone else who might need their assistance. Often I received financial help, and I had no way of paying back the money. I hope I have passed on this kindness later. This, I believe, is how life works in a more truly caring culture. Yet, as I said earlier, all of this undermined my own self-worth and my partner’s opinion of me.

I have received such abundant finances through my father-in-law, and from my father and one sister, which I am so grateful for. Their help has allowed me to give my time and energy and skill to so many people. I was always grateful to my mother-in-law for suggesting, “Roger, you could build a special garden hut and use it as a place to meet your clients.” Thank you … may your spirit be free and happy.

That hut has attracted and heard such long stories from deeply frightened personalities, and I have been privileged to guide and witness deep and authentic positive healing.

Insight: Abuse in one generation does not have to pass onto the next generation and down the family tree. It can stop when people learn they are full of love, and not hate. However, this is a challenge we face today, right now. This little book is part of that offering. Imagine if all dictators had been loved and had been able to trust in their formative years. I don’t believe they would come out from childhood projecting all their rage onto ethnic minorities or any group. I ask you, what would happen if all potential dictators and despotic leaders of gangs and tribes had learned to love themselves and had been taught love rather than hate and fear? What would our world be like? You might think that is so simplistic. Well, I have seen such positive changes in men who could be, and indeed were, so cruel to life.

Imagine in schools that we were taught why and how to love ourselves. What would our world be like?

HEART LOVE VS ANXIOUS FEAR

Warrior love, in a rapidly changing world, is for all granddaughters, grandsons and future generations. May they know that what we do now, in learning to love who we are, helps everyone to grow in a world that is safe for future humans to love each other. It is dedicated to warriors of love like Nelson Mandela and Aung San Suu Kyi. And to all unseen warriors of love.

What we do now with our thoughts, beliefs and actions, is vital in laying foundations to create a truly loveable world. Our willingness to move from fear to love, I believe, can create a safe earth and a much safer, spiritual, loving and loveable race called human beings. Warrior love is one agreement that says: The more we each choose to love the miracle we are, the more this enhances new types of love relationships for future generations to live more peacefully and richly on planet earth.

I want this little book to assist a process of growth where we can be free energetically and emotionally like a 2 to 4 year old, yet balanced like an authentically growing wise spiritual adult!

It is dedicated to Antoine De Saint–Exupery, “The Little Prince” in us all, where; “One must look with the heart” and become a ‘warrior of heart love’, even when life throws us tough experiences!

LOVE Quotes from WARRIOR LOVE

Sondra Ray: “One definition of love is ultimate self-approval.  If you love yourself, you will automatically give others the opportunity to love you.”

Deborah Anapol: “Love is inherently free. It cannot be bought, sold, or traded.” This beautiful soul passed on to the next life a few weeks ago!

      Or as Paulo Coelho puts it, “In love lies the seed of our growth.  The more we love, the closer we are to the spiritual experience.”

David Deida: “Giving Love-to the point of recognizing existence as love—is the purpose of your life.

Don Miquel Ruiz: “Become impeccable with your word. Don’t take things personally, don’t make assumptions and always do your best … And know each time you break these agreements you can start again.”

Robert Holden adds, “Love is about everything … When you make love your purpose, you are fulfilling your destiny.”

Fred Lehrman states, “The Immortal Relationship will be real for you to the extent that you can let go of two fundamental lies about your existence which you may have accepted at your birth: first, that love comes from outside of you; second, that you need love to survive. What is true is this: You are love, and nothing can kill you.”

Brene Brown: “I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”

Masaru Emoto: “Water secretly holds two energies: one of love and one of gratitude.”

Love of Love

Can we learn a new emotional language that really loves love? That is expansive rather than restrictive of our wholehearted way of being? I realize these are tough questions. I know we could make a safer world in which we could love ourselves and each other if we got the negative nonsense of our past conditioning out of the way. Could we learn how our ego so often defeats us in how expansive and deep love can be? Could we learn and truly experience Deborah Anapol’s Seven Laws of Love? These are:

1.     Love Is Its Own Law

2.     The Law of Source

3.     The Law of Attraction

4.     The Law of Truth

5.     The Law of Unity

6.     The Law of Consciousness

7.     The Law of Forgiveness

This book is so refreshing and could save so many loving relationships from ending poorly—or could we choose to keep love alive in all types of relationships.

Here is a quote from The Prophet by Kahil Gibran:

Speak to us of pleasure.

Pleasure is a freedom-song.

But it is not freedom.

It is the blossoming of your desires …

It is the caged taking wing … Ay in very truth, pleasure is a freedom song.

 … And some of your elders remember pleasures with regret like wrongs committed in drunkenness …

They should remember their pleasures with gratitude, as they would the harvest of a summer.

It finishes, “People of Orphalese, be in your pleasure like the flowers and the bees.” 

Time To Think

Nancy Kline opens our minds to see and think more clearly in her books:

 TIME TO THINK & MORE TIME TO THINK.

I just want to recommend these two books to my readers. They will enhance your life in ways of communicating with self and others that I believe brings out the best in all parties.

It is rare that a person can bring so much deep experience to help people open their minds to new ways of thinking, relating and truly listening with appreciation.

My love Roger