My work is Warrior Love!

The Quiet Revolution of abundant Warrior Love

I suggest warrior love is about exploring our capacity to draw from an infinite wise well of love. That loving relationships are the norm and we are naturally good at loving, where we no longer allow our parasitical negative conditioning to puncture our natural ability to be love, loving and loveable.

I suggest that we need alternative ways of reconnecting to warrior love.  I believe we need different people at different times in our life that bring fresh love into our lives; that one partner for life, often cannot suffice for our real needs.  Our conditioned fear so often says, “no!  I want just one person to love me and nobody else.” Where the fear of abandonment is too much.

I suggest we need new relationship choices and the one I talk about later in this book is Polyamory – which simply means we openly and honestly love more than one person and are learning without guilt or shame to be honest to our primary partner and vice-versa.

I believe we can learn how to reduce jealousy and making each other and ourselves wrong for this open relationship change!  Monogamy has served us as one model for many generations.  However, people are becoming increasingly separated, because we, as individuals, are rapidly changing and one reason for this is that we are learning to love who we truly are.  This in turn can make us more loving and loveable. This new way of being needs to be embraced and understood otherwise future children will grow in an atmosphere of conflict and arguments of “who is right?” and “who is wrong?”

A new consciousness creates a new reality

Groomed Fear from Threats!

Groomed fear from “threats”

One of the first things I remember my father repeatedly saying to me in our isolated country “madhouse” was one of the most undermining thoughts I have held in the heart of my life. I now know it came so much from his own abused childhood: “Roger, never let anyone know what you truly feel. You may never know when they will use it against you!”

I stop writing and go deep into the negative power of that one thought, which I repeated to myself as a child, as a teenager, and onward into adulthood as a daily subconscious mantra. That one thought creates such internal damage in mind, body, and soul! I immediately want to counteract it with a positive affirmation: “I trust all life. All life loves and supports me.”

You see, I want to trust life and myself. I want to trust that, if I am increasingly honest in my feelings and about my story, life will heal me. I want to trust that there is truly a “divine mind”—a higher self—in all of us humans that respects truth when the power of intention is kindness, love, and truly sought forgiveness.

However, the original internalized thought from my father would say, “You’re an idiot, Roger, for expecting people to forgive and love you for being truthful.”

People might think, and possibly say to my face, that I am an idiot for being honest. Yet if fear meets fear what do you get? More fear! This is what appears to govern so much of our lives. I want this “journey to the power within” to replace fear with authentic love. When I love myself with fear, I think, What are other people saying and thinking about me? Then the ego has a field day with me.  The ego wants to survive at the expense of truth and love. This creates loneliness and isolation. My wooden counseling hut (in my back garden) rings with the history of such yells of self-blame and blames of parents, partners, children, politicians, teachers… anyone! And this is what keeps the energy stuck in guilt, and guilt seeks punishment and punishment produces disease! 

Insight: I believe boys who become men with the same type of negative affirmation that my father gave me, along with many more negative ideas planted firmly in their subconscious minds, can, on a large scale, create and attract wars, abuse, and slavery. On a smaller scale, they can attract all types of negative addictions. In addition, they are malleable in the hands of ideological fundamentalist religions and terrorist organizations that want to rule our world. Thought joins to thought. So, unless we change those destructive thoughts, our world will not be a safe place for us to love and be loveable. We men particularly need to change our conditioning. I believe we can take off our emotional and physical armor by being addicted to finding love inside ourselves, inside our hearts—mind, body and soul. I have often counseled men in particular who could have easily been fodder to violent angry organizations. Let me tell you a Hindu story:

Hiding the Secret

Many, many years ago, when the earth was young, the legends tell us that all human beings were like gods, but they became very haughty and proud, and so abused their god-like nature that Brahma, the chief god, decided to take it away from them and hide it where it could never be found. He called together a council of the lesser gods to ask their advice.

“I think we should hide it in some dark forest where human beings have never set foot,” said one. “They will never find it there.”

“Oh yes they will,” replied Brahma. “One day, every mile of the earth will be colonized by human beings. They are sure to find it in a forest.”

“Then we must bury it deep in the earth,” said another. “They will never find it there.”

“Oh yes they will,” said Brahma. “One day they will dig mines for gold and precious stones, and they will surely come across it in the earth.”

“Then we must bury it in the ocean,” advised a third. “The ocean is so vast that no human being will ever be able to explore its depths completely.”

“Oh yes they will,” said Brahma, becoming impatient with the poor advice. “One day they will build submarines and travel to the bottom of the deepest oceans. And before you suggest it, they’ll find it on the highest mountain.”

Suddenly, Brahma’s face lit up. He had an idea. “I know what we’ll do. I know where we can put it where it will never be found.”

“Where’s that?”

“Deep inside the human heart! Nobody will ever think of looking there!”

SECRETS YOU KEEP COME BACK TO PUNISH!

Heal your secrets now!

I see that when we hold secrets this creates an energy that never finds peace.  Over time, secret lives become lies and eat away at us inside, through fear, guilt, shame, and resentment. Consequently, we can invite painful exits from this life. So I suggest to you, do the work now! Learn to love the parasite of fear right “out” of you. Don’t leave it to your deathbed! Find love inside, and become ever so loveable! I promise it creates miracles of self-acceptance with deep appreciation. Do read the wonderful book, The Voice of Knowledge by Don Miquel Ruiz.

Both my parents were highly intelligent, yet had no inner awareness or wisdom of why and how they could change their lives for the better.

Suggestion: Read self-help books, go to groups, write and speak affirmations, meditate, learn new talents like dancing, let go of negative relationships in leisure time and at work. Attract new relationships! Learn about how to dissolve guilt and stop being a victim in every area of life. I feel this is worth repeating. Do read Guiding Principles for Life Beyond Victim Consciousness by Lynne Forrest. She clearly describes ways to come out of the victim, rescuer, and persecutor triangle.

Guilt: separation insurance

Sondra Ray puts it so succinctly in her book, Loving Relationships:

Guilt is the mafia of the mind. It is a protection plan you sell yourself to avoid anticipated punishment… (This is why guilt is always accompanied by resentment.).Guilt is the major obstacle to success in relationships. How can you let yourself receive unconditional love when you fear the consequences? How can you surrender to love when you fear loss? How can you give yourself what you most desire when deep down you feel unworthy?

Later, she adds:

Imagine the consequences of believing that you being alive hurts your lovers! This one thought can cause you to suppress your feelings, withhold your joy, and deny your divinity for the sake of others. And if you are in love with someone special, you might even be willing to hurt yourself physically (and die) to protect your partner from aliveness.

Don’t concentrate only on how awful life is or was. I know you could say my story is doing that, but getting it out and owning it is part of the healing process. Write and own your story. This can help you let go of the person you think you’re supposed to be and fully embrace who you truly 

RISK LOVING YOU.

 Now, to risk loving means loving my more permanent self enough to be truly human and at times become excruciatingly vulnerable and intimate with the images that the mirror of life reflects back to me. Yet I do so with self-compassion. I know I risk everything I have ever helped to create back home by being truthful. I am not writing this book to hurt anyone. I am writing it to, just maybe, help you, the reader, be more open to change and go within to experience with me some realization of:

Who am I?

What do I need to learn?

What have I deep inside to give?

What is my real purpose in this life?

Often I hear from people what they don’t want; yet not what they love with passion, the latter I believe, can expand our capacity for unconditional love. This is probably the only capacity we take to our next life in spirit. That may be a little advanced for you to comprehend at this stage; indeed, when I first heard this I said, “Get real. Life is tough. It’s not about learning unconditional love!”

Yes, that was my first reaction to being asked to love me, a man! All I know is that, when someone suggested, “You can learn to love you just as you are,” I scoffed so hard I choked. My resistance was so full of cynicism. I thought I was a hardened, “street wise” man with life’s knocks to prove it! I loathed being open, and I had no real emotional language or intelligence. I was a “man!” Ah! What a limiting belief! Ring any bells, men?

Dare To BE YOU! Excerpt from Warrior Love

Dare to be me: Warrior Love

As I sit looking down the mountain and at the deep blue sky I ask myself:

Do I really want to change and grow, or am I too fearful of what I may find? The answer comes:

Dare to be you; not what you think others may want you to be!

This is where a retreat into your wisdom and love can begin. This book is from my heart—nonacademic and written in simple language. It is about what I have learned to love, especially the power within, which watches my negative self-destructive thoughts and behavior, and feeds my intuition positively. It invited me to “come out” to Crete (before I leave this training ground called Earth!). So here goes. Hold onto our magical carpet and fly with me!

Don’t die wondering—life is a series of lessons

What if you and I left this life knowing who we are and that we are full of love, kindness, and creativity? What a wonderful thought! Imagine … no bitterness no regrets. No unnecessary disease. We learn to open our inner power to see life as constant learning and a loving place to be.

I know I am not perfect, and I have made mistakes. The mistakes attract tough experiences, yet I see everything as lessons that teach me about authentic compassion and self-compassion. This, in turn, carves out my unique path towards consciousness and transformation.