Press Release

PRESS RELEASE:

DO I DARE TO READ WARRIOR LOVE?

The picture of a God-like muscular man with arms outstretched, standing on a slip of sand with blue sky and sea going far into the distance, is an enticing metaphor for this book that asks us human beings a revolutionary question?

“Could humanity make a huge shift in consciousness and realize we are more naturally polyamorous than monogamous?”

Reading this searching question by the author, Roger King, made my stomach feel kicked with excitement and fear at the same time.

How dare he ask such a touchy question to my comfortable little world?

How dare he ask me to consider a secret fantasy?

Could I love more than one woman at the same time and be honest to both women?

How dare he ask me to bare my soul to be open about my secret desires and fantasies? And then, in all pertinence, allow those women to also have the same freedom as me?

Yet, there was a part of me that was curious to purchase this book, to read and turn the pages. I wanted to explore how Roger came to this anti-mainstream state of honest self-disclosure.

Warrior love unfolded a warrior man who earned his stripes through 65 years of life; going through two marriages and listening to many hurt and abused souls in his profession as a counsellor.

I found the quiet revolutionary genius that had survived tough parents and years of working with ex-prisoners and the mentally unstable.

I found a man willing to risk everything: His reputation as a therapist; his marriage; children; and the loss of respect of his friends and neighbours.

I found myself uncomfortable in his truth of “coming out” like a gay man in the 1960’s.

I could hear the gossip of people around this contentious book; the wonderful hypocritical people who cast religious stones at people like Roger – yet have plenty of secrets to hide themselves.

I wondered, could I write such a truthful book as a critical journalist, if I separated from a hurt angry wife after almost 30 years of marriage?

Could I admit to having secret affairs? And still love myself enough to write such an honest book?

Could I bare all to a world media that could appreciate me one day and crucify me the next?

Could I, a man, trust myself to be open, and become a warrior of love rather than a victim of fear? Could I dare to be me? Or will I stay safe and hidden in marriages of boredom and just cast out the Rogers of the world into a desert of crazy men?

I dare you to read WARRIOR LOVE!

CREATING FILM ON WARRIOR LOVE

Just editing new film on Warrior Love with friends Gareth & Judith. So exciting. pic.twitter.com/m8OH2Vrzhv

Which Wolf do you feed?

I have awakened to the sun coming up over the olive trees and Cat Stevens singing “Morning has Broken.” I feel fresh and beautiful and ready to write with divine inspiration.

I am reminded of the Native American story and it goes like this:

Feeding the Wolf

“Why is it that sometimes I feel that I want to do helpful things, but at other times I just want my own way?” a little Cherokee boy asked his grandfather one day.

“It’s because there is a battle between two wolves. One wolf is kind and gentle, full of peace, generosity, compassion, and trust. The other is wicked, full of anger, hatred, greed, selfishness, pride, and arrogance.”

The young boy thought for a moment, and then he asked, “Which one will win the battle inside me?”

“The one you feed,” replied his grandfather.

Insight: Sometimes in my life I have fed the so-called wicked wolf, even while knowing there is a kind wolf inside me. This creates such a fight in me, my chatterbox, or inner conversation, goes wild. When I give talks to groups or run Heal Your Life sessions, I know I act in spirit and with inspired connections to the god inside, and this brings the kind, loving wolf into being.

Liberating Love

Liberating Love!

Sex with no judgement becomes love that serves and heals on every level!

In my experience to touch someone is to heal, if the touch occurs without judgement of self and the other.

Sometimes if I am truly vulnerable and exposed to another, in the act of sexual intimacy, it may bring my insecurities to the surface. I may cry in my heart with questions.

Am I just loved for my body? Am I wise? Am I just lustful? Am I attractive? Am I too old/young? Am I too inexperienced? Am I Just wanting to be spent in orgasm? Is my penis too big or too small?

Sex without judgement, with someone who sees all of you, I believe allows you go to the deepest truth of each other’s being.

We communicate on a deep level that we are seen and valued. This allows me to desire her from my deepest sexual desire. Not just nipple or vagina.

Sex for me is capable of producing the highest form of energy that is not drug-induced. The pleasure to my physical form heals my spirit, my mind and dissolves any misconception that the body is bad.

I am taken to a place of pre-shame like a 2/4 year old where I am balanced in body, mind and spirit. There is no separation.

Allow your desire to draw you into the deepest giving of love as possible, even without a sex partner, to heal yourself. Experience self-pleasure with fantasy without shame or repression. The now moment brings wholeness.

The urgent invitation of desire activates the deepest longings and heart-gifts to come to your whole body.

You become liberated love consciousness. You no longer worry about penis size or vagina size. You listen to the cries of pleasure. The soul singing out in ecstasy.

Love your love Roger 21^st feb 14

Adventure in lovemaking as I age!

I looked into the mirror and saw an ageing man that kept himself in good shape. That has always loved making love with his partner. A man who could get turned on so quickly, when a woman flirted her eyes and swung her hips in a dance.

Yet, there was fear deep inside this man, that life was getting short, time was ticking, I had seen parents age and die. So the inevitable questions came:

What was left? What did I have to live for? Was monotony settling in? Was my partner of 27 years bored with me? Was my mind and body no longer enough for her? Was fun and free wild lovemaking gone? What did she need that I could no longer give her? Did I deplete her energy and creativity for life? 

Children now grown, school runs done, cleaning, cooking and all the family chores done.

TV or football not enough to quench a need for adventure. Work was still good, yet I was gradually bored with my own rituals. 

Reading self-help books that invited romance and erotic fantasy kept me alive to the possibility that there was still an adventure I had in me. I wanted desperately to be attractive to myself, that I didn't want to die wired up in an old peoples home regretting my life. 

So the new questions came: 

Could this man still be attractive to other women? Could a new adventure in life be there before leaving the planet?  

Could I have a new life to look forward too, after two marriages and three children? 

Could I be intimate with other women who were asking the same questions as me? Who looked into a mirror that showed wrinkles and drooping boobs and hips that had seen better days. Yet there was still a fire of passion deep inside.

So I embarked on attracting what I was thinking about. I became brave to relive my teenage years, which if I am truthful were not so exciting sexually. I was seen as attractive, but I didn't like me. I had too much anger at parents and school and a lover that rejected me. I was full of feeling sorry for myself.

So now I write from this rainbow heart and would love your response to my blogs! Tell me what your heart sees and feels?

My love & support.

Working with a film crew to promote Warrior Love without EGO!

This weekend filming has created such an adventure for me in telling the world: What is Warrior Love? And who is the book is aimed at? (published by Balboa Press a division of Hay House)

From the sad separation from my partner after 27 years, has come my vision for Warrior Love to champion a whole new way of understanding love, and how relationships can become far more open and honest. 

I have spent the weekend with three lovely people called:
                "The Core Resonance film crew!"
They have done an excellent film by inspiring me to tell how Warrior Love came into being. 

When the magic of love permeates painful experiences, I believe a rainbow is formed deep inside our hearts and we can expand our mind, body and soul to heal every aspect of our lives. 

Sometimes do you wake in the middle of the night in despair? 

I know I can. I rehearse with my ego how tough life is. Then I know to meditate and serve myself with self-compassion.

For whom do I act? I act to serve YOU! in this book.
The film Warrior Love will come out in a few weeks.
My love and support to you all Roger King 

Creative and sexual Frustration.

When children leave home and you have given your life to caring for the family, are you eager to find a new you? 

Has your main relationship become boring or too predictable?

What and how do you feel in your waking fantasies?

Do you want warrior love an adventure for a new sexual life?

Has sex become boring and just depleting your energy and you need new people in your life. You may not want to hurt your family and main partner. Yet your frustrated with being bored by yourself and your routines.

Your grown up children needs and your partners needs are less demanding. 

You don't want the TV or sitting in meetings or just work or feel bored, you want your teenage years back. You want to achieve a new you from the hard work of being a caring mum or dad.

You want to feel attractive and wanted. You want to be romanced and told your sexy in ways that turn you on spiritually, emotionally and sexually. Well warrior love is a story of open love that brings your fantasies alive. Yet there is the cost, you could get a divorce if your found out!

You look into the mirror and see your body ageing and the wrinkles are coming and you move your body with some sexy moves. But the thought is; 'what have I done with my life?'

The thought comes 'there must be more to life than what I am doing now?'

So warrior love person I ask; If this blog describes you, can you subscribe and leave your thoughts?

WHO IS WARRIOR LOVE FOR? YOU.

I want Warrior Love to inspire at least one person YOU! To know there is an alternative to monogamy and possible monotony over time.
I want to help YOU create a new possibility, a different choice than divorce or secret affairs.

Through my own divorce from a woman I love, after 27 years. I track my journey in the last 5 years of my marriage keeping secret my affairs that involved emotional and sexual intimacy. 

There is an old saying: "When you hit a problem in life that you have created, there is something to learn! Not something to do. 

Warrior love offers what I have learnt over the last year.

1. I learnt that Polyamory could be a viable way of expressing love emotionally and sexually to more than one person. However being open and honest to all parties concerned. (Which I flouted!)

2. By writing the book I chart why my early male childhood (with negative conditioning)  made me rationalise the secret affairs.

3. Warrior Love is my personal vision for human beings to embrace the possibility of learning why and how to build trust and love in open relationships.

4. I ask: Could warrior men and women help make this world a safer place to love each other, for future generations? Could we learn how to dissolve or handle our jealousy and possessiveness in intimate relationships, the positive being there are less separations and divorces that hurt all involved, especially children.

The simple aim, not easy, is to prevent divorces and separations. Or to make parting company a much more honest and open process   without carrying such pain and hurt into future relationships.

If warrior love can help YOU heal unmet needs in an intimate relationship and become brave and wise in sharing this honestly with those you love, then the book will serve its purpose, through offering Polyamory as an alternative to hiding in monogamy, without having secret affairs.

The book is published by Balboa Press a division of Hay House and online by amazon.co.uk and Amazon. com and Barnes & Noble. In kindle, hard and softback.

What is Warrior Love?

 

What is Warrior Love? 

It is waking up to an inspirational energy of thought that becomes a brave belief, that we can be truthful about our ability to love life, past all our conditioned beliefs of fear. The fear that holds so many negative limiting beliefs. We have as humans accepted so easily that life has to have pain and hurt of inner and outer wars, slavery, corruption, injustice and abuse of many kinds. This vibration has such low healing creative messages and creates what we say we don't want.

I believe warrior love is an energy that creates a love of all. We learn to be connected to every human, every animal and every plant and planet. I believe we have the capacity to love ourselves past all our frailties, blind spots and we can radiate this radical healing energy wherever we go. It starts with our heart opening, that each day we open our arms and say to the universe: "I am open and receptive to all good." This one act each day can be repeated consciously as a signal to the SOURCE! 

We are ready to be a warrior of love! Then we can open our heart to the vast unused mind/brain that we so rarely use. Our vibration and the powerful intention begins to vibrate at the same resonance as the invisible love that is around us and flows through us. 

This energy then touches every thought, feeling, emotion and action. We become creative, we learn to open our capacity to love past all fear, criticism, guilt, resentment and the feeling of not being good enough.

We learn and truly experience unconditional love. Let me quote from my book Warrior Love. 

"Learning about love and how to love

If you have ever been in a relationship with another person that has gone past its time, then you may have some empathy for this inner journey. If you have ever asked questions like: Who am I? What is my purpose? What is Love? Then this retreat may be life-changing for you. I welcome you and your entire story… your beliefs, race, religion, sexual preferences, prejudices, fears, criticisms, guilt, and deep resentment at the lies you have allowed to condition you. 

Often I experience people cry for “what could have been” as they let love heal their past and present lives. Don’t wait any longer do it now. Don’t wait for everything to be right; you might be on your deathbed by then!

I want to know who I am, and I want to connect to you in that oasis of truth that goes beyond our personalities and the masks we put on to survive. I will use stories to go past our hurt and pain to discover what wise and truly unconditional loving spirits you and I are.

As a counselor for many years, I have listened to many people say, “If only I wasn’t married anymore, I would be happy!” Or, “If only he (or she) were different then …” Or, “What would people say if I left the relationship (job, church, synagogue, or mosque)?” Or, “I wish I could meet the right person; then I would be happy.” Or, “I wish I had more money; then I would…” Or, “I wish I wasn’t brought up a Catholic (Jew or Protestant and Muslim).” Or, “What if my church (my friends, my coworkers, my family) knew what I was really like!” And sometimes, “I wish I had never been born!”

What I want to hear from those who read this book is this: “Thank God somebody heard me. Someone knows what it’s like to be me!” I want to know what lies you have chosen to hold onto because of fear in order to create your own so-called “real world” of toughness, isolation and dis-ease. I want to facilitate our healing through sharing our vulnerable selves with a heart, breaking open with truth. This creates, I believe, an open heart… vast, passionate, and vulnerable… that can realign us to our true selves and convey infinitely more love than we have experienced before. I want you to consider love as a way of being independent of any other person. That love is a state of consciousness. 

As clinical psychologist’ Dr. Deborah Anapol says about love that she learned from her teachers: “The thing is, love is a choice you can only make for yourself, not for anyone else.” Instead of “falling in love” helplessly or accidentally, they [her teachers]... “spoke of ‘rising in love’ after removing all resistance.”. When we love ourselves without resistance, then I believe we become a warrior of love! Judgment and taking offense are outside the space of love. I realize now love is an infinite space where we can dissolve fear and all our negative conditioning, especially our fear of self."

So reader I ask you to leave comments and open your arms each day as this man does on this cover and say: "I AM OPEN AND RECEPTIVE TO ALL GOOD. AND SO IT IS." Then give thanks as you experience your rising love of all including yourself. Thanks do email me if you prefer. rogerking3@btinternet.com 

HONESTY ABOUT OUR SECRET LOVE LIFE CAN BRING PEOPLE AND SOCIETY CLOSER TOGETHER!

Publishing warrior love with Balboa Press I want the book to serve one major purpose:
To assist all the millions of people who have secret affairs, to come out! The longer we keep secrets of the heart the more we hurt ourselves and all we love. In warrior love, I suggest an alternative to this "touchy" subject. I suggest could humanity be open honest and discover Polyamory rather than monogamy.
The book is my personal journey to be wise and brave with all loved ones involved.   That out of the tough situation of holding all kinds of secrets, good experiences can come. It is scary for all kinds of reasons why we stay secret, especially around affairs! These are some:

·     We may loose love from our partner and our own self-respect.

·     We maybe rejected and abandoned.

·     We may loose our home and financial security.

·     We may loose respect from family, our religion, and our community.

·     We could be gossiped about at work, even loose it.

I have had all these fears and the biggest, was hurting my partner and my grown up children and the women who I had affairs.  Losing their friendship left a great gapping hole of shame and guilt opening up before me. However I am strong enough to learn from this and not become a whipping post for those people who are holier than me. From listening to people for years I have never met a perfect person. 

How does our past conditioning excuse us to keep secret about what we need, that our partner does not give us? 

·     Our conditioned belief from negative childhood messages, especially, if you were abused in any way. The internalized message is: “Don’t tell! Don’t ask for what you need! Don’t rock the boat! Don't trust!"

·     I hear so often from women they are fed up with the man having little emotional intelligence. Once married, men can forget to romance their woman. They feel unable to say; “You are beautiful! What has your day been like?” Then listen, and appreciate. 

·     Many men have told me they find a kind of satisfaction from porn rather than asking the partner for what they need.

·     The mirror effect, when there is lack of trust and low self-esteem between partners, it can lead to a kind of mirrored stalemate. You stay with what you know and just complain and gossip about your partner. This can become so destructive. Then you attract friends who say you should leave him or her. And hurt joins to hurt. When we keep secrets it has the potential to destroy us and we put our life on hold and live in fear.

Law of Attraction.

However, the law of attraction is always going on. I believe we cannot help being attracted to different people at different times in our lives. We are living longer. A so called affair can wake us up to what we love about ourselves. Yet how honest is honest? Can we choose to be real with our unmet needs and actually agree with our main partner, we need new relationships and that is agreed and carried out openly to help all parties keep their integrity?

Monogamy can equal comfortable monotony!

Many women tell me they have an extra child they are mothering, their husband. Often I have listened to client’s saying how comfortably boring life is in monogamy and that it has stopped a rich love life. What goes on behind locked doors is a kind of stagnant hell. So off they go to attract a person who can satisfy that unmet need. If this is secretly done I know what the cost is to my life and everyone I love.

When we embark on a secret affair or our main partner attracts a lover does this mean we love them less or they love us less?  This maybe true or it could lead to a new revitalized relationship where you truly talk and start realizing you have lived different parallele lives and now it’s time to positively change. Or you separate with awareness and friendship. 

Open relationships could be the beginning of renewing our main relationship. This requires courage, wisdom and a willingness to risk unlearning our negative beliefs around sex and intimacy and knowing you have a chance to learn a whole new way of being and living in the now and welcome change!

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.

 To be open about our capacity to love more than one person at the same time is I believe, taking a huge step in raising our energy and our consciousness.  It could mean we can truly love our main partner more deeply and not take them for granted. Or we choose to leave and be what we need to be.

What are the benefits of open relationships?

I believe Polyamory (loving more than one person whether single or married) brings the freedom to be truthful to all parties concerned. Polyamory is saying; we are moving from monogamy to open honest discussions about opening our ability to love more than one person in life. It stops the mental inner self-talk:

“YOUR MINE & I AM YOURS!”

This possessive controlling mental agreement made after marriage, I believe, is a lie we agree to when young... or possibly any age. The peer pressure is so strong. The religious conditioning is so strong. It is interesting that at one time sex before marriage was severely frowned on by society. Now it is okay even in some religious circles. Yet sex after marriage with anyone else, is severely punished by divorce and a legal profession that loves making money from our pain. Can we not learn warrior love and be honest that we grow and change over time and we may open our relationship to others. And be true warriors of love and not kill ourselves with guilt, and the sin that so many different Gods from varied religions would have us swallow?

Polyamory is asking us to make a paradigm shift in awareness and consciousness. Where we don’t lie, we say what we need and we listen to what our partner needs without being judge and jury.

Polyamory is not necessarily about sexual intimacy; it can be just deep emotional sharing.

Do we judge our partner for having close friends?

I know the balance of right and wrong is difficult in this “touchy” area. I know it is tough when we have secrecy about an “affair”. I know we must find and learn other more open ways to be honest.

Does having sex with someone else mean you love your main partner any less?

My belief is when you love someone sexually and you are honest about sexually loving someone else to your main partner, it does not necessarily mean you love your main partner less. I believe if we become open about our different needs and when we all share, we can reassure all involved they are not loved any less. We may return from our outside love and give even more love to our main partner. This to me is warrior love. A kind of compersion. Where we begin to dissolve jealousy and we learn to re-wire our thinking that if our partner is happy and they take responsibility physically and emotionally, a kind of unconditional love is born. Can you imagine having a warm glow inside your heart that your partner is going to love you even more when they return from another person who you have met and like? That would be a monumental shift of consciousness and transformation. Maybe we have to take small steps!

My Lesson is to trust being open and honest.

My biggest lesson is not to keep secret my secret affairs. The fear was I would hurt my loved ones and others. This complex fear is, I believe, so prevalent in our society today. To a point where we are modeling to young people, don’t get married, because they fear not being unable to trust their love and anyone’s love towards them. This is why I love teaching people who are willing to love themselves from a place of authenticity and deep wisdom. They come from a place they are truly responsible for their experiences and stop blaming partners and own what they attract to them, especially tough experiences.

Trust builds on honesty

This maybe an assumption, however I believe trust in an intimate or any relationship builds on authentic honesty.

I want to champion before I leave this planet a wholehearted warrior love that can empathically inspire new types of relationships, with new levels of intimacy. I would love feedback, even if you make you right and me wrong. I am strong enough to take what you give, if it comes from you truly thinking in your own mind and not just regurgitating what you have been programmed to say. I ask you to read Warrior Love out now. Thanks.

My love & support Roger King

Warrior Love available now!

Warrior Love is available now!

Warrior Love is now available from Balboa Press, High Street Bookshops, Barnes & Noble, Amazon and Kindle.

Category: Body mind spirit
Size: 6" X 9" (229mm X 152mm)
Published by Balboa Press a division of Hay House
ISBN 078-1-4542-8995-4

(Click on the book image below to view and buy online).

Waking fears about publishing Warrior Love!

3rd Feb 2014

Waking fears about publishing Warrior Love!

I awake this morning with the birds singing, and a warm touch of spring in the air.

Then thoughts and feelings emerge into consciousness. I sense my anxiousness of coming out and admitting to a world that I am naturally a Polyamorous man. (I love more than one person at the same time.)

I ask my rational adult: How can I admit to a world full of people that I am a Polyamorous man? Humans who are so often full of fear and prejudice? A world that is more worried about money, weather, wars, starvation and many more important issues than my emotional and sexual preferences. 

 I suddenly feel I could be persecuted, like women seen as a witch in the middle ages, or gay people coming out over many centuries. I remember my past partner shouting down the phone on a sweltering hot day in Crete, where I started writing Warrior Love:

 “Admitting your Polyamorous, your an idiot. You can’t write that!”

 My belligerent answer was “Yes I can!” My retaliation for the hurt I felt at our separation.

This wounded man was going to show the world that I am a crazy lovely man!  I was going to justify my actions for holding secrets about my being able to relate emotionally and sexually to more than one person. I was going to confront a world of men and women, who have learnt to lie to their partners about love affairs. I was going to be honest about my life.

No longer could I keep a secret heart that was hurting. I wanted to give my truth to a world that needs truth, courage and openness. I was not going to deny my natural ability to love and be loved by different women.

I was going to write Warrior Love for all people left on the sideline and not heard and have been abused in childhood. All the souls I have listened too for years in my (therapy) garden hut. People whom had labels given to them by doctors and stuffed full of drugs. I was going to write it for us all, who have been conditioned to fear. I was going to dream a world where we wake up to our negative war torn world that loves such duplicity to cover up!

I told myself: “I am coming out!” I will tell the world to stop and be more honest about being full of paranoiac fear.

I realise I could be seen as a hardhearted man that is condoning his own behaviour.  I realise I could be struck off from being a counsellor and group worker and labelled a groomer of women and an adulterer and by some a bigamist. I can hear in my worst fears the religious souls would condemn me to hell. Well maybe we are already in hell ladies and gentlemen!

Another fear. My family would excommunicate me to some old peoples home as an embarrassment and just forgotten. To be talked about in hushed tones and assassinated quietly at dinner conversations.

To be talked about in some clichés. “He was a good man but turned bad! I always suspected him though. Therapists are a bit crazy anyway!”

So these are my worst fears of saying anything to TV, radio, and news reporters. A mass media that love to build you up and then assassinate you, like they do with most celebrities. I ask myself would it be wiser to scrap the whole book and just quietly retire to some celibate monastery or the opposite a “poly” house and go into not caring that I am a misunderstood genius child.I end this blog with a crazy thought of being like Oscar Wilde, imprisoned in my hometown, a Reading jail! Now that would be some end! Good morning crazy world! Love Roger

PS Some affirmations:

“I go beyond my own negative beliefs and fears and those around me. I think in my own mind."

" I CAN DO IT! I CAN WRITE AND MARKET WARRIOR LOVE AND SERVE HUMANITY WITH A LOVING INTENTION.”

 "I CANNOT AFFORD THE CRITICISMS OF OTHERS AS I COME FROM A PLACE OF LOVING INTENTION & HUMBLENESS"

Brave Warrior Love

Today a film crew came to discuss a short video on promoting the book Warrior Love.

The book is my personal journey of coming out as a Polyamorous man. I love more than one woman. After 27 years married I kept secret, a series of love affairs over the last 5 years.

This hurt my partner and myself and our adult children. However as I wrote Warrior Love, I began to feel like a gay man coming out after hiding in monogamy. I could feel disapproval from a hypocritical society. I felt judged harshly and went through shame and fear. After a time of watching this self-imposed guilt, I suddenly realised self-compassion and thought all I have done is give love to people I loved. Why could I choose to beat up on me? I suspected (rightly or wrongly) my own therapist colleagues could judge me harshly through their own lack of knowledge and their own misguided prejudice.

Through the creative healing process of writing Warrior Love I read good books about Polyamory. And as I went on writing over 6 months and talking to poly people. It became clear to me, many Polyamorous people are hiding in so called monogamous marriages keeping their secret lives hidden. Yet there is a cost and for me I have lost a partner who I still love because of not being truthful.

Championing the case for coming out!

I have made a choice to champion the coming out of people who are fearful of being "found out!" I believe millions of people who have secret affairs or go from one monogamous relationship to another, are really polyamorous yet in denial. This creates I believe dis-ease of a sexual, spiritual and emotional nature. When we hold secrets about being in affairs it hurts on so many levels. Over time the secret comes out in one way or another. I want the book Warrior Love to be a positive and authentic step for all who read it, to heal their fear and their secret lives, by being brave to come out.

Who is the book wrote for?

Millions of humans who made vows "Till death us do part!" I speak to you. Many people will stay in monogamy and I am not against that, if that is what you truly want. However there are more divorces and the fallout is very costly on so many levels. So I ask why is it important to start a more informed sharing of why and how do we move out of monogamy and move towards Polyamory? Simple answer, we would I believe create a safer world for us to love each other and a much safer place for future generations to love  themselves, each other, and create trust and a platform of sharing that can help dissolve jealousy.

Living longer & personal growth.

We are living longer and women are more empowered while men are still reluctant to take off their emotional armour.  How many people would love to come out and admit 'I have changed and my partner cannot meet all my needs.'?

The book is intended to start deep sharing on topics like

• How do we handle jealousy, possessiveness and wanting safety and control if we become openly Polyamorous?
• How can I pluck up the courage to say to my partner I need more intimacy than you can give me and vice versa, whether emotional and/or sexual?
• How can I dare to be truthful in a sensitive way, if I do have other sexual partners.
• What are the risks of coming out?

The book clearly has a vision for us all to be warriors of love. The qualities of warrior love are:

• Loving ourselves from a place of deep respect.
• Opening ourselves to a paradigm shift in consciousness. Willing to unlearn our prejudices and negative conditioning.
• Learning compersion!! I would like the awkward word compersion to become warrior love! Where polyamorous people are not ashamed and hide. we come out as warriors of love!

What is compersion? Imagine a culture where your partner’s attraction to another created increased pleasure, joy and intimacy for you. Would jealousy be such a monumental experience of destruction? So warrior love asks each of us to look at the questions: How does jealousy affect me? And what can I do about it? Must I feel ashamed for having jealous thoughts? However, I could learn with openness and deep sharing, not to let those feelings swamp me.

Who is the book aimed at? YOU! Do read it and let me have your feedback.  The book is available online or you can order through bookstores and in a kindle version.   Thank you. My love & support Roger

Healing comes when we re-unite Sexuality and Spirituality in mind, body & soul.

When religion and politics separates spirituality and sexuality with the misguided intention to control humans, by seeing the human being as basically untrustworthy. Roger's belief is you create a climate for keeping lies about your self as being "bad!" Roger has listened to clients, as a therapist for 40 years, who have either been abused and/or have abused the self with spiritual and sexual guilt. This in turn has not helped them parent their own children (often unintentionally) from learnt negative beliefs passed down by a society that separates natural sexuality and spirituality.
Warrior Love is an attempt to ask humanity to see through this artificial division. When a man and woman, whatever their sexual preferences, unites spirituality and sexuality in their own mind, body and soul, then we experience truly authentic and mindful love and can share this with a powerful intention of kindness, truth, forgiveness, creativity, expansiveness and a high energy for life.
Warrior love by Roger King, is a book that comes from pain of dividing and hiding his sexuality and spirituality and therefore keeping secrets in his life. I truly ask you to read Warrior Love with an open mind to bring genuine and enjoyable spiritual sex back into your own life. 
When we can be wisely and courageously truthful about our need for spiritual sex, polyamory is possible and beautiful. We heal the emotions of jealousy, possessiveness and the need to control our partner or self. We dissolve the belief that we or our partner as bad, deviant not to be trusted. We trust ourself and our partner (if married or just living together) to attract good people to us, whether sexual or just emotional intimacy. Polyamory is one option and does not always mean sexual intimacy.
When we wake up with courageous warrior love in the heart of our mind, body and soul, we heal so many hurts from the past and can live now, and give our best in every area of our life.

Rogers affirmation "I learn moment-by-moment to meditate on my spirituality and sexuality being at one. I love life and give my best to life and all who I meet on the checkerboard of life. And so it is."
Do give feedback. My love Roger www.warriorlove.org and www.rogerking.info
The book warrior love is available on amazon or direct from Balboa Press a division of Hay House.

BBC radio 4 "Changing the Rules of Love

This is a part transcript of a recent 30 minute BBC radio 4 programme On 'Changing Rules of Love.' 
I would like genuine reactions to this documentary! 

The question the interviewer asks: "Does emotional intimacy really have to go hand-in-hand with sexual fidelity?" A question that truly gets our attention.
Alice a mother of two says, "My relationship with my primary partner is vital." This is her main romance and she "would protect it with her life." However Alice admits "There are lots of people I love, who I don't have sex with and there are lots of people I have sex with who I don't love."  Alice adds, "I am not interested in making a claim on someone else's body."  
The interviewer thinks this is quite a revolutionary thought, that a love affair need not come with exclusive sexual rights! And adds, "There is something really liberating about a relationship that refuses to buy into that possessiveness!"
The interviewer asks, "However is the price of that jealousy?"
Alice admits both her and her partner are jealous people! How does she manage that?
Alice answers "I am not ashamed of being jealous, but I can box it off." And adds "that response is not really interesting." Alice asks herself: "What is behind that jealousy?"
The interviewer asks; "Wouldn't it be easier... to just be monogamous?"
Alice wisely replies, "You cannot bind people to you by a set of rules. Monogamy to me is a rigid system that just doesn't acknowledge that people change over time and relationships change. And for me the way in which I desire Sam of course has to change over time."

Then how do children fit into this? The arrival of two children. 
The interviewer then asks Alice: 
 "How does an open relationship fit in with family life?"
Alice answers, "Somebody has to be at home and look after the kids while someone is out with their lover, that feels pretty uneven, yea, that feels like ohhh! I didn't sign up to be at home looking after your kids while you are off shagging someone else!"
The interviewer asks "Is that what you say to each other?"
Alice replies, "That's part of our negotiation. Like how can we do this? That feels really heavy in the times when it does happen, you can't escape it. You would be at home anyway."
The interviewer asks "Are you afraid Sam will leave you?" "Yes of course, but I would be afraid of that if we were in a monogamous relationship as well."

In transcribing this I feel Alice is truly facing her emotions and feelings and how honest and brave she is. Could you do the same?

Int asks: "Can we really expect one person to be everything to us?"
"Nobody is ever enough for one person! I guess one person could be good enough, for most people." says Dr Marion O'Connor at the Tavistock centre who advises couples on how to make monogamy work. 
The interviewer says: "That's not really selling me monogamy. "However Marion replies I don't think another lover would help, if you haven't got a strong base yourself you can be like those people that marry. Oh if I marry Bill, then I will be fulfilled and happy. But you know if Bill is not good enough, then I'll marry Jack and if Jack doesn't fill me up. You'll hear people who go through life trying to find somebody who will complete them and make them whole." Then Marion adds, "Wouldn't it be better for you to find how you could feel whole enough. So I don't think having two lovers would solve that problem."
 A poly family!
Now the Interviewer visits a polly household in Sheffield of Charlie, Tom, Sarah and Chris. They're in love with each other. A polyamorous family. 
interviewer asks: "Are there many songs about polyamorous people?"
"Not really, there's a lot of songs about people cheating between two people."  Charlie replies:
"When were watching telly, 90% of plots around romance on TV stuff, its all about falling in love with more than one person. But you must choose between being torn between two people they love, and we start yelling at the TV, "YOU COULD HAVE BOTH!"
Whats the set up?
Charlie and Tom are married, Chris and Sara are going to be married. The two women are in a full blown relationship with both men and with each other. The two men are best mates.
Tom relays, "The number of conversations I've had with peers, where I have started to explain it, then they have got so far as saying; "So you all cheat on each other", and not able to get past that explanation "no everybody is cool with it. Everybody knows what's happening and nobody is deceiving each other". Then they repeat; "so you all cheat on each other."
Int asks: "What would infidelity mean in this relationship?"
 Tom replies,
"It is impossible to cheat on someone in a polyamorous relationship!"
"For example."  Chris says, "I went on a first date with somebody yesterday and before I went on this first date, I sat down with each of my three partners and checked with them individually that I was okay to go on this date, but cheating would have been me going off yesterday and saying and meeting up with friend x and not say that it was a potential romantic partner."
Interviewer sets scene:  "To be clear this is Toms wife Charlie who is out on this date, and he's sitting next to her and sitting on the sofa looking very relaxed about it. But then he is holding hands with Sarah, with whom he's been in a relationship since the second year of his marriage. Now that can't of been easy conversation to have with his wife! How did Charlie react?"
Charlie replies: "Sarah is lovely, so my husband has fallen in love with a lovely woman so that's fine. Yea, thats really what I thought."
Int asks:  "Was there jealousy flashing?" "Ah no I was just so happy that Tom was so happy with Sarah."
Tom interjects, "There is a concept been kicking around!" Charlie interjects "Oh your not going to hear the 'C' word." Tom replies, "Oh I know its horrible. Charlie says, "its an invented word that you hear in Polyamory circles an awful lot, because there isn't a good word for it" 'Its compersion replies Tom. "It essentially means the opposite of jealousy. The little warm glow that you get when you see somebody that you really care about loving somebody else and being loved, that you have joy rather than the anger."
Int asks: "Does that come naturally? Or did you have to work on that?" Charlie replies: "I never did." Sarah replies "No nor me!"
Tom "Neither did I" and adds maybe its how some people are wired and some people aren't, I am not sure though!"
Charlie said, "It took Chris a while to get over the insecurity, once he did and once he started feeling the same way we were all feeling then he was fine."
Int sets the scene. Chris was the last of the four to join the family, he didn't want to be interviewed, so his fiancé Sarah told me how she broke the news to him, that she was in love with Tom as well.
"That was a little more complicated when Chris and I got together there was always the assumption of romantic monogamy, if not sexual monogamy, so we sat down and we talked about what it meant to be in love with more than one person and did that mean I loved him less, of course it didn't."
Int asks: "Why do you say 'of course it didn't?' Most people would say of course it did!" 
Sarah replies: "Its not like there's so much love I have to give and I have to give all that love to one person, I can love as many people as I can fit into my heart and that turns out quite a few. I don't think there's a limit."
Charlie adds "There's a limit on time!" Charlie says, "I run the google calendar. Which we mostly use for keeping track of date nights. Most of the time we don't do anything. We mostly use for keeping track on date nights….The couple on a date get the first pick on what film goes on the TV and it helps keep track of who is in what bedroom. For example I have a regular weekly date night with Charlie, its us snuggling up with the TV, it's us going to bed together and all that kind of business."
Int asks: "Most people, I think, have enough difficulty managing one relationship, you know where your full time is thinking about the emotional needs and physical needs..Isn't it exhausting having three relationships to manage successfully?"
Tom replies." A bit, sometimes. there are some people you talk too, who write the relationship off as a lazy way of getting more sex, than you normally would." (giggling) He continues: "There are easier ways. They all say "yes there are easier ways!" Tom "Nobody took this as an easy option, you know we kind of didn't have a choice, we are in love with each other."
Int comments: "We don't see any contradiction in loving more than one friend and nobody would ask us to love only one of our children, why should it be any different with romantic love?"
The question is, does multiplying the number of people in a relationship increase its fragility or its strength? Maybe both" the interviewer concedes!
Int asks "How does sex therapist Esta Porel see Polyamory and open relationships fitting into the romantic scheme of things?"
"All of that is the next frontier, now we have a generation of people coming up who are saying, 'we also want stability committed relationships and safety and security, but we also want individual fulfilment, lets see if we can negotiate monogamy or non-monogamy in a consensual way that prevents a lot of the aches and destructions and the pains of infidelity. Monogamy was negotiated the first time when we brought in pre-marital sex. Now we need to negotiate again in the democratisation of contraception. I think sometimes we think of it as this kind of static, stable thing that always meant the same and its not!"
Int: "Monogamy used to mean one person for all time, now we use it as one person at a time. But beyond that boundary there is a lot of resistance. Alice has faced prejudice because of her choice to live in an open relationship. So much so that she asked us to change her name."
Alice: "People think your irresponsible that your deviant..you can't be trusted. Monogamy comes with a whole set of assumptions around loyalty and being able to keep a promise like the vast majority of people will understand monogamy willingly the correct thing they do."
Int:Do you think sometimes that people think its better to be in a monogamous relationship and then have an affair, than to have the kind of relationship that your in?"
Alice relies; "Yes definitely, because that keeps monogamy intact in a kind of way."
Int comments: Monogamy is hard, you only have to look at the divorce statistics to see that. One in seven couples who split up, blame their partners unfaithfulness and lets face it the trail hurts. 
Esta Porel sees the aftermath of infidelity all the time, she counsels couples in New York, who are trying to save their relationship. She is unusual among therapists, in that she doesn't always recommend monogamy as the answer. So does she choose to be monogamous?"
EP "That I will not answer this question!"
Int: "Speaking more generally there is a real taboo about non-monogamy? Do you feel people are reluctant to tell us how they live?"
EP "Yes the same way that people will lie about sex more than any other topic!" 
Int: "Why is there a taboo about it?" 
EP "Because the norm is very, very powerful, but you know all people used be dreadfully ashamed if they divorced. Once people will know that it is no longer a shaming experience and it is not going to be judged and not being isolated, then people will become more forthcoming about what they do. Ask me in ten years if I am monogamous and I will maybe answer you differently than I answer today, at this point the question is so loaded."
Int asks: "Could monogamy really loose its moral monopoly inside the next ten years? Tom, Charlie and Sarah are expecting it to take it a little longer than that."
Charlie: "I think that multi-partnered relationships are just starting to come on the radar and so I am kind of preparing for 30 years of being made fun of."
Tom says, "It will happen, but it will take time. I think anyone who is expecting a massive social change, is terribly mistaken. But it will happen."
A doubtful interviewer asks 
Int: "WILL IT? Monogamy, as an ideal at least has shown remarkable endurance despite a formidable challenge from temptation. The relationship pioneers we have heard from are trying to resolve that tension, by revising the rules of love to promote sexual honesty over exclusivity. If they persuade people that there's is a viable model, then monogamy becomes a choice, rather than the default, and it maybe stronger for it, because then those who agree to forsake all others are doing it for love and love alone." 

Please let me have your views on this interesting topic.