Overcoming fear.

The power of fear

My first story is aimed at all those who worry that people might find out who they really are—especially those who would literally think and feel suicidal thoughts if people found out. Even death for some hurt souls seems to be a better place than being truthful and dissolving those bullying thoughts and feelings!

The Snake in the Cup

One day a businessman was drinking a cup of tea at the house of a female business acquaintance when he noticed what he thought was a baby snake in his cup. Not wishing to embarrass his hostess, he gulped down the tea—snake and all—and hastily left.

The thought of the tiny snake in his stomach really distressed the man. For the rest of the day he felt nauseated, and when he went to bed that night he had terrible stomach ache. Fearing that he may have contracted some terrible disease from the snake, or worse, that the snake was still alive and was gnawing his insides, he resolved to visit the doctor as soon as possible. Early in the morning, after a very disturbed night’s sleep, he set out for the doctor’s surgery.

On the way he passed the house where he had swallowed the snake. His friend, who happened to be looking out of the window, noticed his miserable condition and invited him inside. The sick man sat where he had sat before, and politely accepted another cup of tea, but as he raised the cup to drink, he saw another snake! He threw the cup to the floor and quickly explained his impolite behavior to his puzzled friend. She smiled and pointed to the ceiling, where a short length of rope was dangling. “There’s your snake,” said his friend. “What you thought was a baby snake was a reflection of a little piece of rope!” The man’s stomach pain disappeared immediately, and he was back to perfect health in an hour.

The Quiet Revolution WARRIOR LOVE.

The Quiet Revolution of abundant Warrior Love

I suggest warrior love is about exploring our capacity to draw from an infinite wise well of love. That loving relationships are the norm and we are naturally good at loving, where we no longer allow our parasitical negative conditioning to puncture our natural ability to be love, loving and loveable.

I suggest that we need alternative ways of reconnecting to warrior love.  I believe we need different people at different times in our life that bring fresh love into our lives; that one partner for life, often cannot suffice for our real needs.  Our conditioned fear so often says, “no!  I want just one person to love me and nobody else.” Where the fear of abandonment is too much.

I suggest we need new relationship choices and the one I talk about later in this book is Polyamory – which simply means we openly and honestly love more than one person and are learning without guilt or shame to be honest to our primary partner and vice-versa.

I believe we can learn how to reduce jealousy and making each other and ourselves wrong for this open relationship change!  Monogamy has served us as one model for many generations.  However, people are becoming increasingly separated, because we, as individuals, are rapidly changing and one reason for this is that we are learning to love who we truly are.  This in turn can make us more loving and loveable. This new way of being needs to be embraced and understood otherwise future children will grow in an atmosphere of conflict and arguments of “who is right?” and “who is wrong?”

A new consciousness creates a new reality

With self-help books and therapies, we learn about our different energies of self-love, self-compassion and self-worth. These qualities are gradually permeating into consciousness. However, often it is only one person in a partnership that is willing to grow, and the partner who is working on their past hurt becomes frustrated on many levels and can choose to seek love elsewhere. (I realize this is a generalization).

So this dream and vision is to challenge us as humans that we are born to love and be love. That if we increase (authentic) teachings of self-love we need to create a conscious society and culture that validates more honesty about our need to seek “open love” that learns to dissolve jealousy and lies and abuse. I believe we can do it with powerful inner wisdom.

In my opinion, if mankind was helped to be more aware and conscious about our ability to love more than one person, and we chose to be free to love with openness and honesty, could wars stop and slavery in all its forms cease? Could spiritual and sexual abuse and negative addictions of all kinds dissolve by learning what I call warrior love? We need to be brave with inner wisdom and create strong role models that can wake us up to our ability to love without shame, guilt and fear.

Warrior love is about creating a culture where it is safe to be open and honest about our ability to love openly—not hiding and hurting others and losing integrity. I ask: Can we shift in consciousness about our (apparently hard-wired) jealous feelings if our partner is attracted to someone else? What would our society be like if each of us took our personal power to share more openly, communicating honestly about our emotional and sexual needs, without vilification? Nearly everyone learns, in our monogamous society, that spouses have exclusive rights to each other. We are conditioned to feel that if our partner is interested in someone else we will be replaced—or that it is a personal rejection of ourselves.

Imagine a culture where your partner’s attraction to another created increased pleasure, joy and intimacy for you. Would jealousy be such a monumental experience of destruction? So warrior love asks each of us to look at the questions: How does jealousy affect me? And what can I do about it? Must I feel ashamed for having jealous thoughts? However, I could learn with openness and deep sharing, not to let those feelings swamp me.

A news report informed us that there is an increased awareness of sex at much younger ages, and one concerning consequence of this is increasing non-consensual sex (rape) —especially around the poorer estates in cities. With [often young] men, being in a confused mind set to grab intimacy through rape, this is such a signal that there is never a better time, I suggest, for learning “warrior love”—where we teach and mentor positive ways to love our self and then love each other. We no longer blame anyone, especially our parents, partners, or ourselves. We dissolve our parasite of negative domestication. We become aware with active consciousness to transform our lives through fewer lies with open living. We learn to manage trauma, intensity, and unequal sex drives, with less jealousy and addictions. The judge and the victim no longer control our mind. Our minds become fertile for intense and active love and a new dream is born. We are energy and as we increase consciousness we can use this force for good—not abuse and enslavement towards women and children. And men become free of being the abuser or wrongdoer.

How?

Children love to be loved by adults who love themselves from a place of deep personal integrity.

Imagine that our children are mentored in strong self-esteem, warrior love, from year one, by parents and teachers who love who they are; experiencing self-love, especially at school and other places of learning. This would be such an exciting adventure for young minds. Children love to be listened to about all subjects, especially learning to love self without shame and guilt. I believe bullying and early abuse dissolves together with wise boundaries of self-love and self-knowledge. I see warrior love being taught in schools and through college life and even in businesses and government organizations. Warrior love includes teachings that serve our rich humanity—not just cramming knowledge.

In my vision, men and women of all generations dissolve their “secret lives” that come from stories of pain, and alchemize it with becoming “brave” with truth. We learn Toltec wisdom from teachers like Don Miquel Ruiz:

To be impeccable with our word; where we no longer take things personally; we no longer make assumptions; and we always do our best.

Our healing energies increase moment by moment as we create new beliefs and agreements that assist right-action to heal the “dream” of this wounded earth. We create a culture that mentors and shares what helps to create loving relationships with self and others. This information, with practice and will power, becomes a priority for each of us to learn. Enlightened women, men, and children become our authentic warrior guides and we learn to trust each other through trusting our inner power of warrior love.

Forgiveness and letting go blame, by men and women, becomes our hallmark of regaining trust. No longer do we stay victims with a harsh judge. We become dream masters. We become truly responsible by being intuitively wild and free. Self-love opens us to a key that opens our heart; our story is shared with “brave vulnerable truth.” We choose to love and become warrior love – even when life is tough.

Money becomes a transaction of abundant love. There is only one world – no third world!  Feminine energy is wisely integrated into business and all transactions. Co-operation of skill and knowledge opens new avenues of sustainable methods of living.

Religions no longer compete for our minds. Each soul is a priestess or priest. Life is seen and experienced as an exciting school that unfolds with delightful surprises. People’s minds, bodies, and souls, wake up from being negatively domesticated. When we become aware that we are not free, we take right action to be truly free from a virus of self-destruction. Chaos becomes a true heaven on earth.

Families, communities and countries co-operate. Manipulation through guilt, resentment, criticism, jealousy and fear are dissolved by being constantly connected to the power of spiritual and sexual healing energies within each of us. We learn to wake every day with gratitude and practice the gentle art of blessing. As we build gratitude we attract prosperity of every kind: Friends, time, good health, and wisdom.

Instead of being victims, warrior love assists people inside work organizations to free their hearts and attract work they love. Humans share with a warrior heart to become brave and truthful with all that they think, say, and do.

As we embrace warrior love we create a paradigm shift of consciousness to live an enlightened life that creates miracles of healing whenever needed. We no longer survive; we live our love energy in the now.

Change is healthy, as we become open and receptive to being truthful to our partners and ourselves. “Time to Think” with friendly thoughts and beliefs in our minds is natural.  People listen to themselves and each other with love, forgiveness, and appreciation. We make real advances in being truthful about our spiritual and sexual desires. Our “earth guide only” (ego) is loved in such a way that it moves us from fear to authentic love. We don’t fight our ego, we dissolve its fear around our death. Because we realize we never die, we just transmute into spirit of a higher vibration of love.

Governments and religious leaders of countries are made up of people who love life and new agreements are made with consciousness and easily kept. Ageing reverses, worry is dissolved, and we realize we could live for an average of 200 years and move onto the next training ground with ease. Our words, thoughts and actions are creative when connected with meditation, prayer and disciplined warrior action. We speak and sing a new language of heartfelt affirmations. This gives the Source clear and wise messages that we are “ready” to be totally connected to the power of being at one with Source.

Humans choose to dissolve the parasite of fear that comes from the negative mass media and many other sources. Our whole drama of false beliefs and negative agreements are seen and transformed through actions of intense warrior love. Our impeccable word “hovers over the water” and we give thanks from our infinite heart of love and healthy love returns multiplied. And so it is.

EXCERPT FROM WARRIOR LOVE published by Balboa Press

The Power Within our Heart.

Hiding the Secret

Many, many years ago, when the earth was young, the legends tell us that all human beings were like gods, but they became very haughty and proud, and so abused their god-like nature that Brahma, the chief god, decided to take it away from them and hide it where it could never be found. He called together a council of the lesser gods to ask their advice.

“I think we should hide it in some dark forest where human beings have never set foot,” said one. “They will never find it there.”

“Oh yes they will,” replied Brahma. “One day, every mile of the earth will be colonized by human beings. They are sure to find it in a forest.”

“Then we must bury it deep in the earth,” said another. “They will never find it there.”

“Oh yes they will,” said Brahma. “One day they will dig mines for gold and precious stones, and they will surely come across it in the earth.”

“Then we must bury it in the ocean,” advised a third. “The ocean is so vast that no human being will ever be able to explore its depths completely.”

“Oh yes they will,” said Brahma, becoming impatient with the poor advice. “One day they will build submarines and travel to the bottom of the deepest oceans. And before you suggest it, they’ll find it on the highest mountain.”

Suddenly, Brahma’s face lit up. He had an idea. “I know what we’ll do. I know where we can put it where it will never be found.”

“Where’s that?”

“Deep inside the human heart! Nobody will ever think of looking there!”

This story comes from Eric Butterworth’s book, Discover the Power Within You: A Guide to the Unexplored Depths Within. For Butterworth and those who think like him—including Hindus, Sufis, Gnostics and Mystics—looking within to find God—or the Source—is the whole purpose of the spiritual life.

DO I REALLY WANT TO GROW IN 2015? Excerpt from LOVE THE MIRACLE YOU ARE.

One of the biggest freedoms for me was to realise nobody can think in my mind except me! I control my mind, not my parents, teachers, friends, politicians or any religious faith leaders. Yet we learned as children about life and about our selves from the limiting beliefs and reactions of the adults around us. Many of us come from families where our parents (or their substitutes) did not love themselves. Consequently it would be hard, if not impossible, for each of us to love our selves from a place of deep respect.

“If I don’t love me how can I really love any so called God or my neighbour?”

My life is very simple, yet at times not easy; it is learning to love the miracle of me, not selfishly, then helping others to love themselves, if they are willing. 

I have also learnt that if I really want to change and grow; I need to learn about how my mind works then use it with a higher loving intention. If you want to change your life, ask and challenge yourself with this question:

Do I really want to change and grow?

Am I willing to do what it takes even when the going can get tough?’

My love to you in this New Year.

Awareness of THE LAW OF TRUTH.

Awareness leads to consciousness

Let me quote Deborah Anapol from her book, The Seven Natural Laws of Love. This is from the chapter on “Law of Truth”:

The conditioning which most of us have gotten is the exact opposite of the law of truth. The man-made version could be stated like this: If you want to be loved you must project an image of perfection and never say anything, which might hurt someone’s feelings. Never show weakness and never be impolite. Never reveal family secrets. Lie if you need to in order to make a good impression, and keep quiet about anything controversial. If you have been trained to lie about your real feelings and needs from an early age, being truly intimate maybe a challenge for you.

The aversion to truth-telling is partly habit, but it persists for two reasons: First, in order to speak the truth, you have to know the truth. Second, you have to give up trying to control the outcome of speaking the truth.

And Anapol adds so poignantly:

The best way to lie to others is to lie to oneself. After many years of lying to yourself, you may no longer know your true feelings and thoughts...You want to be authentic but you’ve forgotten how.

This really makes so much sense in my own experience and in the experiences of so many of my abused clients.

I have been accused of talking too much about sex and of being addicted to sex. What I do want is for readers to learn that there are other ways of having relationships that our Western culture keeps a lid on. In my opinion, much of our Western consciousness through years of religious indoctrination and “Victorian morality” has forced us to keep secrets and not be truthful.

How does our culture see polyamory?

Counselors and therapists often know very little about polyamory (I certainly did not until I started to read books like Dr. Anapols’s book Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners. I also attended a polyamory workshop in Greece.)

Many people may fall back on considering polyamory to be an aberration, a pathology to be avoided or “cured” (as people used to consider homosexuality). I quote from The Polyamory Handbook by Peter Benson:

A common myth in our predominantly Judeo-Christian culture in the Western hemisphere … has been there is only one traditional or “standard” way, one valid and healthy and right way, for people to conduct their loving relationships and that is a pairing of one man and one woman.

POWER OF INTENTION.

As I write, I realize the importance of “beckoning intent”, a concept developed by Carlos Castaneda. I am reminded of Wayne Dyer’s book, Power of Intention, in which he quotes from Castaneda’s book, The Active Side of Infinity. Wayne read this just before undergoing successful surgery on his artery:

Intent is a force that exists in the universe. When sorcerers (those who live in the Source) beckon intent, it comes to them and sets up the path for attainment, which means that sorcerers always accomplish what they set out to do.

I want to invite and live in the Source in this time of personal pain, and I want to retain this integrity in the rest of my life so I can learn and teach. I experience the Source when I meditate. Where I learn to listen with an open heart!

 When I am truly listened to by Source it’s like a close friend. I feel my eyes water, and my inner power of wisdom rises up into awareness. Then what I face in life feels like lessons to be learned. I believe this: that to give a person the gift of being truly listened to, can enrich love and inspiration for living.

I experience this listening power in self-help groups, where Source is working to help each other listen with such warrior love. I love such intimacy.

In the early days, as I started to grow, I was naive. I saw some counselors, and what unraveled was the revelation of my fear of life and that I had been living my life without any true understanding of love … the love inside me. This man’s—this hurt boy’s—rage at his own upbringing came through with such venom! I grew up scared to feel how scared I was. Have you experienced fear dominating your life? Fear of self and of life, I believe, this anxiety kills us early and attracts a lot of destruction into our lives. I see this so often in men as they open their mouths to speak about how they live life. The beliefs and feelings of mistrust and rage surface so quickly. Even in men who appear so knowledgeable, cynicism breaks their hearts. So let’s do our lives differently!

Heart Love can dissolve abuse.

Learning to give and receive from the heart

I have often given away my services cheaply. I have asked people to pay me when they have made leaps in self-esteem or, with their new consciousness, so in turn help someone else who might need their assistance. Often I received financial help, and I had no way of paying back the money. I hope I have passed on this kindness later. This, I believe, is how life works in a more truly caring culture. Yet, as I said earlier, all of this undermined my own self-worth and my partner’s opinion of me.

I have received such abundant finances through my father-in-law, and from my father and one sister, which I am so grateful for. Their help has allowed me to give my time and energy and skill to so many people. I was always grateful to my mother-in-law for suggesting, “Roger, you could build a special garden hut and use it as a place to meet your clients.” Thank you … may your spirit be free and happy.

That hut has attracted and heard such long stories from deeply frightened personalities, and I have been privileged to guide and witness deep and authentic positive healing.

Insight: Abuse in one generation does not have to pass onto the next generation and down the family tree. It can stop when people learn they are full of love, and not hate. However, this is a challenge we face today, right now. This little book is part of that offering. Imagine if all dictators had been loved and had been able to trust in their formative years. I don’t believe they would come out from childhood projecting all their rage onto ethnic minorities or any group. I ask you, what would happen if all potential dictators and despotic leaders of gangs and tribes had learned to love themselves and had been taught love rather than hate and fear? What would our world be like? You might think that is so simplistic. Well, I have seen such positive changes in men who could be, and indeed were, so cruel to life.

Imagine in schools that we were taught why and how to love ourselves. What would our world be like?